


It 'Twas But a Dream

by Asphyxiation (cat_in_my_hat)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Dreaming, Hippies, I'm Sorry Itachi, Multi, just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 12:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat_in_my_hat/pseuds/Asphyxiation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one in which Sasuke dreams disturbing things and Naruto finds it funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It 'Twas But a Dream

“I’m becoming a hippie.”

The statement itself was ridiculous enough to make Sasuke regard his brother with something that rested on the line between amusement and horror; Itachi snorted at the expression, proceeding to turn and walk out of the room they were in as though he hadn’t just told his family that he was throwing away the very values of their rather conservative society.

Sasuke waited for a few seconds, and studied the horrified expressions on his parents faces (well, mainly his father’s; Mikoto looked about ready pee herself with the way she was holding her breath). He soon realised, when he heard ruffling upstairs, that his brother was completely serious.

Sasuke was in action within a moment of this revelation, and he stomped upstairs to alert his brother to the oncoming hissy-fit he was likely to be on the receiving end of in T-minus three –

He reached the top of the stairs and continued forward towards his brother’s bedroom.

Two –

Once he reached the door, his fist started pounding into the wooden surface. Itachi opens the door after the third knock and –

“What are you talking about you imbecile?!”

One.

Itachi turned his back on his ranting sibling, laying headphones precariously on the top of his already full suitcase. Sasuke noticed how bare the walls were, and how Itachi had dropped his pressed slacks and button up shirt for a hideous piece of tie-dyed fabric that covered _nothing_ (that day, he was exposed to more of Itachi’s chest than he ever wanted to be), with even more hideous tassels dangling from the hem. Even more disturbing – the jean shorts. _Oh dear god, not the jean shorts_ , he thought.

Sasuke saw a lot that day. He was never the same.

“What are you going to do out there? What about university? Father won’t stand for this. He’ll disown you and you won’t be able to see the family. Remember what they did to Obito when he ran away?”

Itachi nodded along to his brothers words – in all honesty, he was insulted that Sasuke thought that he hadn’t thought of all of this already (he had, thrice over. He also had diagrams). He zipped up his suitcase and turned on his brother.

“Sasuke, I love you. I always have, and always will,” Itachi pulls him into a hug that lasted for a nanosecond before it was over and Itachi was heading out the door. There was van that waited for him in the drive way, and Itachi seemed to know the driver, who was a large brute of a man with painted blue skin and greasy short hair. Mikoto sneaked up behind Sasuke, and made a noise akin to awe at the colourful vehicle in the midst of _kidnapping her obviously brainwashed and deluded son_.

“If you’d told me earlier, I could have made you snacks,” she sounded awfully distraught, and ignored the squeak-slash-groan that came from Sasuke’s mouth, “Oh! I think I have some lemon slice leftover from the Nara’s party. Hold on, I’ll go grab it.”

Sasuke wanted to cry when the brute of a man, who was helping Itachi strap his possessions to the roof of the van replied with, “Thanks Mrs. Uchiha, you’re so chill.”

Sasuke wanted to die when his mother giggled. _Giggled_.

_They’ve all gone mad_ , the youngest Uchiha was getting desperate. At least his father was reacting as expected – all stoic and angry looking, his tense pose screamed familiarity that contrasted to the rather frantic and _chaotic_ behaviour of his brother (he’s used to his mother’s general brashness and spontaneity by now).

“Father, put an end to this right now!” Sasuke snapped, watching in horror as his mother put together a pack of snicker doodles and lamingtons, and handed them to the big guy – whose name was revealed to be Kisame.

Fugaku only shook his head, and regarded the younger with a serious expression, “Sometimes, you just have to let things happen naturally, and you have let young men decide for themselves sometimes. This is one of those times.”

“Itachi! Did you drug our father?!” He stuck his head out the door to find Mikoto in deep conversation with Kisame and Itachi standing back near the van. He swung his head up and looked at his brother with a titled head. The only response he got was the flash of a peace sign.

_‘The fuck –_ ’

 

Cold sweat stuck to his forehead when he woke up.

“What’s wrong, teme? You look like you’ve seen the worst thing you could imagine.”

He shielded his eyes from the onslaught of light that filtered through the blinds. A thick fog of smoke oozed from the fag that hung between the lips of the blond in the bed next to him, naked except for the sheet that pooled around his waist.

“I had a bad dream.”

Naruto sucked in a puff of smoke, and handed the cigarette to the Uchiha, “About what? Was it like that one about Itachi becoming an astronaut? Or was he a Mexican this time? Ooooor, maybe he was the Godfather. Hey - hey , wouldn't it be ridiculous if he became the first lady!”

Sasuke snorted around the fag as he imaged Itachi in all of those situations (oddly, pulling a peace sign in all of them), “No, none of those. We were in the sixties and he became a hippie.”

The tanned stomach that Sasuke had his head rested on vibrated with the force of Naruto’s chuckles, “Itachi a hippie?!” The blond tapped Sasuke’s head, “Sometimes this mind of yours is dangerous. Other times, it’s just weird.”

Sasuke grunted. “I dunno, I think Itachi could be a hippie. He’s a pacifist, hates ignorance and he has a really bad fashion sense.”

That earned him another laugh. He passed the cigarette back to its owner, who proceeded to snuff it out on the ash tray that sat on the bedside table. A feral grin spread across his face as he snuggled down into the sheets. Sasuke ended up underneath the other, caged between tan, muscled arms. His hands came up to rest on board shoulders and pull him closer.

“Let’s see what other creative things that mind can think up,” Naruto growled. 

Sasuke had a grin that matched the others, “Oh, I like the sound of that idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hippie Itachi just had to happen. I'm sorry.


End file.
